Case Study - Leadership Identity after Maternity Leave

Where she started

My client (Director of Strategy) came back from a year of maternity leave with the questions most people carry internally and rarely say out loud. Is it possible be a good leader and a good mum? How do I meet the needs of my team and my family without losing myself along the way? How do I perform well on reduced hours when I was already struggling working full time? 

Underneath all of it sat a bigger question: am I even the same person now?

She had spoken to other women who had returned to work after having children, and several of them suggested coaching. When she decided what she most wanted to work on, she landed on her leadership identity - although, as she put it herself, she wasn't entirely sure at that stage what she meant by that. What she did know was that she wasn't feeling sure of herself, and that it was showing up in her ability to build trust and to lead.

What we worked on

Three things, over ten months.

First, her identity as a leader and a mum - what she stands for, the space she wants to occupy, and how she leads (rather than just what she does).

Second, trust. Rebuilding relationships with her team and re-establishing with the executive team after a year away.

Third (and this turned out to be the one that changed the most day to day) where she puts her energy. We spent real time on what she genuinely needs to be involved in. Where she rolls up her sleeves. Where she directs. Where she coaches. And where she steps back and gives good people the room to do their work.

What changed

She describes landing in a calmer and far more confident place than she was in ten months earlier. This confidence and calm evolved slowly over time and with a combination of her hard work, and my support and challenge. 

The work on where she put her energy did double duty. It reduced her sense of overwhelm, and it grew her team - people who now have more space and confidence. They are finding more fulfilment in their own roles.

The shift I find most striking, though, is the one about being a working mother. She arrived thinking about the juggle, the tiredness, and the constant round of illness in those early months. What she hadn't given room to was how much a change of that size demands growth from a person. The disruption in the day for nursery pick-up has made her more deliberate, more consistent and more organised. And she has a richer understanding of the lives of the people she leads.

I've left her feedback of our time together below and highlighted some key areas that were most impactful for me.

In her words

“Ten months ago, my priorities were to establish and reestablish relationships of trust with my team and our executive team and to feel more confident in my leadership identity – what I stand for, the space I’ll occupy, where I will lead as opposed to doing.

Leadership coaching with you has been one of the most impactful things I’ve ever done, in terms of my development as a leader.

I returned from a year of maternity leave feeling really nervous in many ways which I don’t think are uncommon. How would I balance a demanding leadership role with being a Mum? How would I be able to meet the needs of my team and organisation when my heart and sometimes my head were somewhere else? How would I be able to deliver everything I needed to do, working reduced hours and with hard-stops for childcare? And was I even the same person with such hugely altered life priorities – how did I feel about work now?

I felt a real nervousness around identity (who even am I now?) – I chatted to other professional women who had returned to work after having children and several people recommended coaching to me. I considered what I wanted most and decided that I wanted to focus on my leadership identity. On my own, I wasn’t entirely sure what I meant by this, but I knew that I wasn’t feeling sure of myself and that that would show up in my ability to develop relationships of trust and to lead and deliver.

Working with you has helped me to identify who I am as a leader, what my team and my colleagues can expect from me and to build trust in new and rejuvenated relationships. It’s helped me to be more purposeful in where I spend my energy. One of the most helpful things we discussed was what I need to be involved in. Where I should roll up my sleeves, where I should direct, where I should coach and where I should step back and give good people the space to do their thing. This has helped me to feel less overwhelmed, but it has also helped me to grow and develop my team and for individuals in my team to feel more fulfilled in their own work.

It’s also helped me to recognise and celebrate the positives of being a working mother. Previously I’d only thought about how hard the juggling would be, how tired we’d all be and in the early days, how ill we’d all be - I hadn’t given space to how much big life changes, such as becoming a parent, necessitate growth in any person. I’ve learned a lot about myself, about my priorities and about my relationships. Having that hard stop for nursery pick-up can be a challenge, but it means that I’m far more deliberate as a leader, far more consistent and far more organised. I also have a new perspective on the lives of others, and a richer understanding which comes from life experience. Hard as the tiredness is – the things I’ve learnt are not small and they do make me a better leader, and this understanding is extremely powerful and something I’ve learned through coaching.

Thank you for your guidance and support, kindly challenges, and gentle reinforcement, for listening and for asking the right questions to help me land in a calmer and vastly more confident place than I was 10 months ago.”